Good Sister, Bad Sister

http://www.hortmag.com/article/goodsisterbadsister/

Weekend Warriors

http://www.hortmag.com/article/weekendwarriors/

Asking For It

http://www.hortmag.com/article/variegatedbutterbur/

Are You Sick Of Hearing About Twitter?

http://www.hortmag.com/article/gardentweets/

Wall Pockets & Swizzle Sticks

http://www.hortmag.com/article/wallpocketsandswizzlesticks/

A Completely Biased Book Review

http://www.hortmag.com/article/biasedbookreview/

The Secret To Being A Great Gardener

http://www.hortmag.com/article/secretgreatgardener/

April Digest

http://www.hortmag.com/article/kmadigestapril/

A Jedi Gardener

http://www.hortmag.com/article/Jedigardening/

Kiss My Aster Buys Plants To Benefit STDS

And that stands for Save The Dunes.... http://www.hortmag.com/article/stdsnatives/

Take A Chance On Me

http://www.hortmag.com/article/greenonionexperiment/

KMA Landscaping Basics #404 & a PSA

http://www.hortmag.com/article/boxwoodandpee/

Etsy Finds

http://www.hortmag.com/article/etsyfinds/

J'adore This Plant

http://www.hortmag.com/article/Leymusarenarius/

Rubber Sole

http://www.hortmag.com/article/rubbersole/

Dirt Under My Nails

http://www.hortmag.com/article/dirtynails/

Dangerous Garden Craft Day Part 1

Making sea glass mulch... or am I? http://www.hortmag.com/article/seaglassmulch1/

Same As It Ever Was

New bloggy post at hortmag.com http://www.hortmag.com/article/babyplants/

KMA Digest

Lil' bits: http://www.hortmag.com/article/kmadigest/

Final Star Wars Garden Craft WeekProject

Ta-da! http://www.hortmag.com/article/SWGCWbowling/

Part II: Wipe the Forest Moon of Endor Off Your Feet

The Empire Strikes Back: http://www.hortmag.com/article/SWGCWtheempirestrikesback/

Star Wars Garden Craft Week: A New Hope

Use the Force: http://www.hortmag.com/article/SWGCWanewhope/

My Rocky Relationship With Lasagna

New post! http://www.hortmag.com/article/mushrooms/

If You Want Something Done, Ask A Busy Person

New post! http://www.hortmag.com/article/weddingflowers/

Hooray For March!

New post at http://www.hortmag.com/article/hoorayformarch/

Hey! Where's the Flood?

New post at hortmag.com http://www.hortmag.com/article/flooded/

Movin' on up...

Please direct your attention to Kiss my Aster! at Horticulture magazine where I am merrily blogging away starting 01/01/09...

It's not really good-bye, I mean- We can hang out tomorrow over at my new pad. So Happy New Year's and here's a little weird to get you through...

Backbone of the Garden

The gift that keeps on giving... and stinking...

True: worm bins do not stink up your house (but only because the stink is contained INSIDE the worm bin- there IS stink!)

I just got done separating a load of worms to give to one of the 2 people I bullied in to getting a worm bin for Christmas. It was unpleasant work. The little fellers weren't cooperative and didn't leap into the box from the bin, as I had hoped. Now my house smells of rotting stuff... but it'll get better.

I got a lot of worm juice too. Good as gold, the worm juice...

It was a little like an archaeological dig in there, small pieces of the plastic windows from envelopes, what I think used to be avocado pits, egg shells... what do worm eggs look like? Ew, I Googled it. Yeah, I found a ton of those. I could go back in there and take a cool photo but... yeah, NO.

So, Vanessa. Dump the box in to the bin, wrapping material and all. You can even tear up the cardboard box and throw it in there (take off as much tape as you can) Take it slow the first couple weeks... by spring they will be rock star worms!

5 days to go...

So in 5 days there will be a lot less action around here. Basically there will be all the old stuff... and a link to follow me over to Horticulture's website where I will be merrily blogging away.

Excited? You betcha! (it's not like it's Birds & Blooms, people! This is Horticulture!!)

Scared? you bet. I don't think I'll make fun of Birds & Blooms on their watch. It's frightening to make a leap from a situation in which I have no one to please but myself... to trying to please the masses. But it's what I deeply, DEEPLY crave even though I've done just about everything in my power to make you think I didn't even care...
For example, after I entered the contest for Horticulture I kind of forgot about it and then went on a political, thong and f-word-in-the-garden bender.
Once I did the math I figured there was noooooooo way I had a chance... So I introduced some gnome porn in to the mix.
When I got the email from Horticulture telling me that I'd won... I assumed it was going to be a legal notice asking me to cease-and-desist with the scanning of old Horticultures from the 40's.
"We have noticed you post scans from old issues of Horticulture and also photos of a pornucopia? This is unacceptable and it must end immediately."
But no, they are totally rad over there and I just couldn't be more pleased. It's like Masterpiece Theater taking on Kathy Griffin as a host and they know it!
(** I love Masterpiece Theater and would not be thrilled to hear Elizabeth say "Wtf, Darcy?? Why are you such an ass-wipe??" I do think some things are better left, um, traditional)
As an aside, if you miss some of the more inappropriate stuff... I'm actually writing a gardening book. It will be the first NC17 gardening book, ever. I'm not gonna tell you what it's about... and the title is top secret... not that anyone would want to read it, but it sure will be fun to write!
I just decided to write a book a few weeks ago with an announcement to my family about it on Dan's birthday on the 11th... and then THIS happened. Isn't it strange? Aren't I strange?

Well, I hope you'll follow me over there. I'd really appreciate a holla' back...
Will I see you there?

The garden-y gifts that didn't happen...

I had lofty goals this Christmas... we DID start shopping early but we ran out of money early too. I'm sure we weren't the only ones having a more-austere-than-normal celebration but that doesn't mean it sucks any less...

Here are a few things I wanted to get for people, but didn't.
1. The Sasquatch from Design Tuscano for my Dad, he lives in a wooded area and I thought it would be funny to set him back where you can just barely see it... Well, maybe next year!
2. The variegated Lemon Tree from Territorial Seed for Dan
3. Morel kits from Territorial Seed for my Mom and Grandma- My Grandma took me mushroom hunting with her when I was really tiny, which frightened to poop out of me because in my 5 year-old mind...nothing good ever happened to a little girl alone in the forest with her Grandma....
4. A Tea tree from Territorial Seed for Dan - Dan really likes tea. I mean. He's an authority...
5. Monogrammed Felcos for Dan, because everyone should have a pair...

Anyone else have to call it quits before they hit their Christmas shopping goals? I think just about everyone is short of money and time in December... right? (or... No, it's just you Amanda)

Merry Christmas from Kiss my Aster!

A rare KmA! movie review...

Time is ticking on this one, people. Christmas in Connecticut is an awesome and totally overlooked Christmas movie. It'll be on TCM tomorrow at 7:30am. Set the DVR!


Why is relevant? It's about a Martha Stewart-type writer known for her homemaking skills, handsome estate and bouncing baby boy, but it's all fake. She's single and living on take-out in an apartment.


I am famous for my love of plants, potty mouth and vintage clothes. But It's all a joke on you, I'm really a nun with a brown thumb....

Oh, Barbra Stanwyck is always so good...

All together: "How cold is it???"

When I looked at weather.com today it said "2 degrees (feels like 9 below)"...

Apparently it's too cold in Plant Holding and Staging Area #2... Once a porch that someone walled in a long time ago. It's weather proof but there's no heat out there... Loads of sun, great for most plants... This Philodendron prefers other lodging, I guess... He looks like someone beat him with a plugged in curling iron...

I am feeling a little like Mr Selloum here. Beat and needing shelter from the cold... There are germs aplenty at work that I try hard to evade. I should have bought stock in Emergen-C.
Either there's someone ringing a bell for the Salvation Army in front of our house or my ears are ringing. Both are possible, I guess.
I'm taking a long hot bath (the Shumway catalog came... good tub reading) and hitting the sack mega early.
I don't even want to talk about the chance of being sick for Christmas.

9 days 'til the switch to http://www.hortmag.com/
Are you with me?

The Christmas Tree has been Drinking (not me)

We easily got the most crooked tree ever. It has 2 big hairpin turns. But true to character, I felt sorry for it and decided to bring it home.

When I was in kintergarden, all the school kids in Illinois got to vote on the state animal. All the kids voted for the white-tailed deer so I voted for the woodchuck. I felt sorry for the woodchuck. The woodchuck got one vote and everybody wondered who the one kid dumb enough to vote for the woodchuck was.

The future owner of this tree...

Vikings, Christmas, chili and kittens...

It's balls-out Christmas over here. We're defrosting the tree and decorating like Christmas is just next week!
I bought this nutcracker at a thrift store for $6 recently. He's a viking. I have a softness for Vikings for a few reasons...
1. Scandinavian heritage
2. They aren't as overexposed as pirates are, therefore they are way cooler
3. The town I live in has The Valparaiso Vikings, I don't know what they do... but I see the signs everywhere... "Go Vikings!"... My guess is some sort of sports? Or they, like me, are really into vikings around here...?
4. On a related note, there is a restaurant here in town called The Viking Chili Bowl. Which is just an excellent name. Just an ok restaurant.
5. This video. Is by far. The best viking thing ever.

You know you've been in an ice storm when...

Yes, the giraffe IS wearing a scarf....

I should really buy some lotto tickets...

We won the Hideous Christmas Sweater Contest over at Red Stapler.

Except she has the story a little wrong. I love her version more than the truth.

Sure, the holiday sweaters were my idea... but I threw mine away 40 seconds after this photo was taken and Dan wore his the rest of the weekend. Days later he questioned, "Wait a minute... is THIS a WOMEN'S sweater???"

Yes it is, babe, yes it is....

p.s. He has a Christmas blog, Big Balls of Holly and owns other Christmas sweaters!

this was after the photo...

Hello Kitty Christmas Purse, doesn't everyone have one?

Do, or do not.... There is no try...

December 19th 2000 was the day I met my husband. Except then he was just a stranger and not yet my husband, obviously... We met at The Hideout in Chicago at a mutual friend's birthday party. It was love at first sight for both of us. I remember everything we both were wearing.

I had gone to a company Christmas party the night before and had enjoyed myself a little too much and I hadn't felt like going out... but I'm so glad I did. I cried the whole next day because I was afraid I had messed it up.

I knew where he worked and it was my job to pursue him. Which I did.... HARD!

Around MLK day, a few weeks after we met, a girlfriend of mine called and asked me if I'd like to go get a tattoo with her. I only had about $85 to my name and it would have been really dumb to go get a tattoo with her.Then I remembered that Daniel had said something about having tattoos and a massive M80 of an idea went off in my head.

I went and got that $80 tattoo and then walked in to the bar where he worked wearing a sleeveless shirt in January in Chicago... my white bandage blindingly obvious on my left arm. I spent my last $5 on a beer...

The rest, as they say, is history...

"I've got this thing and it's f---ing golden"

You think it was Blagojovich that said that first? No way, it was me referring to this redonkulously amazing bit of news... http://tinyurl.com/3z9ykc

I'll cut back on the swearing though. I promise.

Naughty Gnomes

I dedicate this post to The Original Garden Monkey, who can't get enough gnomes! Especially naughty ones!

1. A naughty gnome Flickr pool
2. Gnomes exposing themselves
3. Creepy Gnome

4. Gnome Porn -seriously, don't even look....
5. for your MySpace- I'm too sexy for your lawn
6. A sad gnome... not naughty but it reminds me of New Order a little?

I know what I said, this is just an exception...

In this previous post, I whined about how people mispronounce plant names by just being too lazy to sound things out or by adding syllables for no good reason.

I can't bring myself to say "Poinsett-I-a". I know it's correct. I can't help it.

People ask me alll the time if it's correct, I tell them it is and then I proceed to pronounce it wrong. It's some sort of massive stumbling block.

Discovered by Joel Poinsett in 1828, the Poinsettia is my least favorite member of the Euphorbia family.

If you've ever worked in indoor plant rentals you'll know why. Although when I worked in plant rentals, I did have his photo on my desk in tribute.

It was the least I could do since I plan I mispronouncing his plant for the rest of my life.

Green and shiny and H I G H!

I do love houseplants. One of the things I love about them is that I can use Pokon Leaf Shine on them. It makes them beautiful and shiny and the pink elephants think so too.

The aerosol spray makes it easy to apply. Sometimes I can see my own bones after I apply it.

Maybe this isn't true- but I'd swear I have sprayed it on mealy bugs and spider mites and it's worked a little at reducing the herds. At least the Wizard that lives in the hole in the floor thinks so!

I used to get yelled at when I would use too much when cleaning up the tropicals at work. At least I think I was getting yelled at, I couldn't really hear them over my brain playing 'Blue Jay Way' so loudly...

And if you like sniffing glue, you'll love the smell...

New goal: become the go-to on mid-century modern landscape design

I'm already all about the mid-century modern landscape design part, I just have to work on becoming the "go-to"... if you have any ideas, share them with me, k?I love this magazine and it's made me realize there's hope for someone that wants to be the "go-to" in mid-century modern landscaping.

It's really a mouthful, "the "go-to" in mid-century modern landscaping"... whew....

Vintage Garden Idea: rooftop gardening

The world treats rooftop gardening like a fad. Well, here's a sure sign that it's a VERY slow growing trend... It's from 1967

Basically, it's alright to admit you're an idiot

When I was a double-knit polyester, bell bottom pants wearing little girl of the 1970's I watched a show on PBS called The Electric Company. Many of the skits and songs from this TV show became family lore and often referenced daily. To this day when spelling "pollution", "motion" or "participation" I will sing "T-I-O-N, shun, shun, shun, shun" to myself quietly.

One of the most memorable, and I'm not sure for what reason, was a sad song sung by a chef in a restaurant.... woefully singing that he couldn't tell a cabbage from a lettuce. I've looked everywhere on YouTube, can't find it. I could find T-I-O-N though, so enjoy it.



The moral of this song was, to me, that it was OK to admit that you don't know something- somethings can't be helped... Cabbages and Lettuces look similar. They just do.



Well, I have a hell of a time keeping my Heliopsis and Helianthus separate in my mind. It doesn't help that they are next to each other in every book, catalog and on the shelves at nurseries. It doesn't help that the common names are Perennial Sunflower and False Sunflower. I mean really. Give me something to grasp on to!



It doesn't help that Heliopsis is often helianthoides, right? Ugh.

If anyone have a mnemonic for me I'll gladly take it. Or a catchy song and accompanying trippy cartoon...

2008 Yearbook: Gone but not Forgotten

I was out in this crazy weather to do some outdoorsy stuff I've been procrastinating on. Mainly, putting away the gourdy autumnal display and putting up the wintery Christmas one. I'm certain Martha doesn't do outdoor wintery chores in a vintage Prince concert shirt, pink sweat pants and toe socks with clogs.


While out in the yard- I had a bit of a garden reunion- I saw all my old friends, now not looking so hot (or looking surprisingly awesome, more on that later). When I saw the carcass of my Eupatorium 'elegant feathers' I heard myself "awwww..." with disappointment. I really liked this plant.


I bought it late in the season, on sale for a few bucks. It was busting out of it's pot, but the sun was in it's heart and it was ready for love. (KmA points if you comment on what that's from)





I stuck its featheriness next to my Sambucus 'blacker than black' (that cultivar doesn't really exist,but it should and it was time for a Spinal Tap reference) and they grew together for the rest of the season looking fabulous together. I even captured some pretty good photos of the phenomena which I moved to our external drive and now I can't get them back. Here's one I posted in August.



So Eupatorium 'elegant feathers'? We were BFFs if only for a summer, stay sweet. K.I.T. I hope you come back from seed... and if you do? See ya next year!

(even though I heard you were sterile... whatev!)

to my rad Husband, on his big 4-0!

To my sweet studsband, it was love at first sight when we met. And I don't know why it worked, but it has! I'm having so much fun with you! Happy Birthday!

The perfect wedding gift for you-know-who, so go ahead and get engaged already!

Slug Pot $30 Deepfired @ Etsy- (you know I'd spend more than $30 on ya right? So I'm gonna get you 2 of these....)

Etsy find: no I didn't make this up- Gnome with Mick Jagger pants

Made by Janit, she's also selling a Half Naked Gnome. (He might be wearing hot pants, he kind of reminds me of Dangle from Reno 911..)